I would like an alarm clock that taps into my sleep patterns and wakes me after a perfect interval of sleep.

Say I want to nap for about 30 minutes. Perhaps I am open to sleeping for as little as 20 minutes or as much as 45 minutes, depending on what would help me feel most rested. I want an alarm clock that can read my mind and wake me up at that optimal point of rest.

An added bonus feature would be a soothing yet firm voice that speaks whenever I hit the snooze button, reminding me that the extra 20 minutes of sleep in 5-minute increments really doesn’t count as extra rest.

I would like all this for under $50, please.

Geniuses, get to work!