Asking for Help

This weekend was a good lesson for me, a reminder of the importance of asking for help.

I have an independent spirit, with a good dose of pride as well. No, I don’t think I’m better than everyone else. I just think I know the best way to do things. (See, that’s not so bad. Um, right?) Add to that an unwillingness to “inconvenience” others.

As a result, I don’t like to delegate. I think my life will be so much easier if I just do everything myself. No reason to bother anyone else with my silly, little tasks. After all, they won’t do the tasks the way I think they ought to be done.

For a small business owner, this is not a good way to operate. Frankly, it’s not a good way to stay in business, either (although it IS a good way to have a nervous breakdown).

I like to think that I have improved my willingness to ask for help. So many friends have supported me and helped me as my business has been getting started. I’ve become willing to ask for help with proofing my store’s website, finding models for my product pictures, and figuring out accounting principles.

Last Friday, though, I found myself in a conundrum — I needed to prepare for a house guest, wash dishes and laundry, cook food for a potluck, and get organized for two weekend shows with ghia. I needed to be at a friend’s house (which was 30 minutes away) by 7pm that night, potluck dish in hand. At 6:30 I was buried in tortilla mix the kitchen, and my house guest’s bed wasn’t made. I hadn’t even thought about what I needed to do for the craft shows on Saturday and Sunday. I arrived at my friend’s house almost an hour late.

By Saturday morning I was a mess, and my time for preparing for the shows was running out. I got up early and started working, letting my husband sleep because “I didn’t want to bother him.” I loaded the cars myself and arrived at the show with only 20 minutes to set up. Thirty minutes into the show, I was struggling to construct the tent for my booth.

Saturday evening, after the show, I was depressed and exhausted and just wanted to hide from the world.

Looking back, I wish I had asked for help starting Thursday night. My revised plan of action would have looked something like this:
1) Ask husband for help with household chores. He’s always very willing to help, and does a great job.
2) Ask grocery store for help — figuratively — by getting pre-made ingredients for the potluck meal instead of working from scratch.
3) Ask God for help in maintaining my sanity and reason. I really didn’t need to scour the bathrooms on Friday, but at the time I sure thought I did.
4) Ask house guest for help with making their bed and preparing their sleeping area.
5) Ask husband (again) for help with loading the car. That would have taken him 5 minutes and saved me 15 or 20.
6) Ask a fellow vendor at the craft fair for help setting up my tent. A lovely woman did offer to help me, and I foolishly said no, believing I could do it all myself and unwilling to accept help from a stranger.

I hope I learned from my experience, because I don’t want another weekend like that. However, while the knowledge is in my head, I don’t know if I truly believe it yet. But if I can ask for help just one time when I otherwise would not, then I have improved. Progress, not perfection!