Heath Ledger: Why It Matters

Like other bloggers, I was surprised by my reaction to Heath Ledger’s death. Upon reading the news stories, I felt a profound sense of sadness.

I have never seen a Heath Ledger movie. In fact, I didn’t even know who he was until a couple of weeks ago when I looked him up on the IMDB after hearing about his role in the forthcoming Batman film.

So why did his death affect me in such a way?

I think Heath Ledger reminded me of someone I knew in high school. No one in particular. There’s just a vague feeling of recognition….of sadness that I didn’t know him better….of wondering if there was something I could have done, something to prevent the tragic death. Hearing that Heath Ledger had died brought the same feelings I have when hearing about the death of a fellow classmate. Disbelief, shock, sadness, and what ifs.

That probably sounds really strange. Why would I have what ifs for an actor I hardly recognized? Chalk it up to my overinflated sense of responsibility, I suppose. Although I don’t think I really feel responsible….it’s more that the circumstances surrounding Ledger’s death were echoes of past doubts and regrets.

I think the other aspect of his death that impacted me was my utter powerlessness over it. My powerlessness over death in general. While I believe that there is One who directs life and death and draws us to something better after we leave this life, I know that I’m not that One. In the end, what happens isn’t up to me. Sudden deaths like that of Heath Ledger are a humbling reminder to me that I’m not in charge.