So this is a tough year. You know this. I know this. Some of us are going through the unimaginable. For others of us, it’s the small imaginables all stacking up, one after the other.
Staying Afloat
I was talking to my therapist about this recently. We were mulling over how rough the seas of life are right now and how to get through them.
My therapist reminded me that some things we use to cope are life rafts, keeping us afloat while we’re tossed by the waves. Others are tiny arm floaties. The arm floaties aren’t necessarily bad, but maybe they aren’t as effective and leave us struggling a bit in the water.
My nightly hot chocolate? Arm floaty.
Exercise? Life raft.
Of course, your mileage may vary, and I don’t get to determine what’s going to keep you afloat. Our family just welcomed a new kitten, and that’s a life raft for me. Animals are an important part of my emotional support system. But if you hate cats, a new kitten won’t help. A life raft for you might involve a Zoom call with 20 of your best friends (and that sounds like my personal nightmare).
These Next Few Weeks
A few weeks ago a friend and I were commiserating about our stress over the upcoming election. We agreed to come up with small, happy things to do before and after Election Day to keep our sanity.
Dying my hair red after that phone call? Arm floaty
Making that phone call and connecting with a friend? Life raft.
Both things? Part of a plan to infuse each day with joy, or at least a bit of peace.
Right now, I imagine that I am building a small, floating island, and everything I add is lifting me up out of the waves. I start with some of my big rafts, like faith, friends, family, aerobic exercise, and a floofy cat. Then I add some extra floaties to the side: newly painted walls, donating to a favorite cause, and a ridiculous variety of Halloween candy.
Next, I look to see where my boat is headed. I’m guessing there are more rough seas ahead, but I can add some destinations that will offer restoration between the rough patches. A socially distanced visit with people I love, a themed movie night, and a therapy session are places I can land for a while and rest.
Make a Plan
What will keep you afloat over the coming months? Find what fits for you. Here are a few starter ideas:
Texting friends just because
Reading a good book
A weighted blanket
Light therapy
A backyard bonfire
Fostering or adopting a pet
Sending a letter to someone
Mindfulness
Prayer
Doing an anonymous good deed
Helping a cause that is meaningful to you
Journaling
Home dance party
Running
Drawing
New plants
A warm bath
Hiking
Friends, I encourage you to find your life rafts and floaties to help you get through this season. Make a plan. Share it. And stay afloat.
I think the old expression “whatever floats your boat” is applicable here. Personally, I find travel, gardening and making things therapeutic, and having more time for those makes look forward to retirement.