M-day

David’s MRI is next Monday.

I’ve been disproportionately stressed out this week, and I think it’s because the spectre of the MRI is hanging in the back of my mind.

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around this. I’ve never had an MRI and certainly never seen a baby have an MRI, so I don’t really know what to expect.

I’m pretty nervous about the sedation aspect. How do they sedate babies? And then there is the whole fasting thing…. [shudder]. Not feeding a baby for six hours isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I’m pretty sure it will feel excruciating in the midst of it.

A part of me is thankful that we are getting the MRI done so soon. I long for more information about David’s condition and prognosis, and this is the best way to get the details.

I guess I am also thankful that God has found a way to remind me of my powerlessness. I am looking at all these unknowns as a challenge to remember that I am not in charge of the universe. To be honest I think I’m a little angry with God on that point — I did five months of bed rest, darn it, don’t I get to be in charge of everything now? At least in charge of my family? No? Well…. fine.

I’m still trusting in His plan, though.

On an interesting side note, the other day I was watching Mr. Rogers with Ian, and a young wheelchair basketball player made an appearance to teach Mr. Rogers some arm stretches. Mr. Rogers asked the boy why he had to use a wheelchair, and the boy said that he was born with a tumor on his spine that damaged some of his nerves. Um, wow. That was timely.