We have a beautiful community of moms in my neighborhood. When a woman is expecting, her friends gather around her, sharing the hope and beauty of birth. Many share stories of their water or home births or perhaps give the name of their favorite doula.
I keep quiet. My birth story is one for after. One for commiserating with the moms whose birth stories also weren’t as planned.
I’d hoped for a non-surgical birth with my first son. Things didn’t work out. He was big. My pelvic bone structure is small. After three hours of pushing we did an urgent but non-emergency C-section. Two doctors worked in tandem to get him unstuck.
Later, I second-guessed. Did I make the right call? I was induced — should I have waited? We hear so much about unnecessary C-sections — was that me?
And then I remember the gash on my infant son’s head where he couldn’t fit through the birth canal.
With my second pregnancy, I cautiously hoped for a VBAC. And then stuff happened. I pretty much had to be sewn together to keep Baby #2 cooking. Which meant — you got it — another C-section.
But somehow, this one was beautiful. The ground outside was covered with snow. The delivery room was warm and peaceful. Planned surgery with no labor complications meant the atmosphere was light and relaxed. After the baby was born they set him on my chest so I could hold him while they finished the surgery. Joyful tears clouded my first view of my second little boy.
The second time around, I made my peace with the scar on my tummy. Yes, I had two C-sections. I also had two living babies. Perhaps almost losing David helped me let go of my notions about what birth is supposed to be.
I hear a lot of discussions these days about unnecessary C-sections and medical interventions. I think those are important conversations to have. I love that more and more women are able to have natural births while knowing help is available if needed.
But I also need to stand up and say that I had two C-sections, and that’s okay. They weren’t unnecessary. They weren’t easy. They weren’t what I had planned. But my children are here, and I am so, so thankful.
And for any other C-section mommies out there, when you find yourself questioning — should you have hired a doula? Was the pitocin responsible? Just know — you rocked it, momma. You, your doctor or midwife, your team — you made the decisions that you and your baby needed. That’s all anyone can ask.
Eloquently said, Christy. My first was a c-section. It was scary, necessary, and she was born healthy. The end result is what matters.
You rocked it, too, Christy! You are a miracle baby yourself, you know. And for both of your little boys, you and your doctors made the very best decisions possible in both cases.
I, too, have read articles about the possibility of too many unnecessary C-sections. But, maybe, just maybe, there are more C-sections now because of better health care and not women’s trivializing delivery. Who is it who is really saying that some of the C-sections are unnecessary? I truly believe that it is the advancement of women’s healthcare that have increased C-sections.
Of course, I am biased, since so many of my loved ones have had quite medically essential C-sections.
And I believe that everyone one of those Moms rocked her pregnancy and delivery, too. And those little baby dolls they each delivered? Hey, they rock my world!
Love, Aunt and Great-Aunt Jelaine
Thank you for this! XOXO I needed to hear this!
Yeah, my story is not appropriate for “before,” and it’s one I have only rarely told in full.
Thank you for your wonderful, heartfelt story. I celebrate with you…and your boys…all three of them.
As you know I too had two C-sections, too. I was planning LaMaze, but Plan B (the section) saved my life and my son’s with the first. My daughter’s life was saved with the second. Blessings and miracles even with the C-sections. Birth, whatever the method, is a miracle of love and life.
I agree with Jelaine. I find myself asking, “Who made these people experts?” whenever I read an article about “Too many C-sections”. I don’t know a single woman who had a c section to make life easier for anyone. I do know many women who had babies who were too large to deliver any other way and celebrated their births. I have to wonder if their size is the result of good nutrition and improved medical care.
So I join you and the other moms who celebrate birth.
I’m honored to know all of you ladies!