I’m feeling mentally fatigued today. Since I just returned from vacation, that’s funny but not surprising. I woke up this morning thinking that I have no idea what to do with Ian today. Another day of housework while he plays at my feet, perhaps? Isn’t that all we ever do?
The most tiring part about each day all the messages I have in my head about what I need to be doing with Ian. Is he getting enough attention from me? Is he bored? Is he tired of the same activities everyday? I should do housework…no, wait….I should spend more time with him. I should be finding new and exciting activities every single day.
It IS good for me to keep general tabs on we do each day. I tend to be a workaholic, so I try to make sure I don’t spend my entire day on projects while Ian plays by himself. But the constant second-guessing and “shoulding” in which I engage can be another divider that takes my attention away from the little guy.
For today, I am going to try to live a little more freely and just see how things go. Maybe the balance will be off today, and maybe it will correct itself tomorrow. I know Ian will have a happier mommy — and I’ll have a happier me — if I can let go, even just a little bit.
One of the most freeing parts of my job was that my boss suggested I let go of 9-5, let go on Mon-Fri, and look at my “progress” week by week and make adjustments on that scale. I know your job with Ian is minute by minute sometimes, but I’ll pray your can rest in the rhythms of your joyful task of raising Ian and keeping a comfortable home.
Yeah, and I hope you’ll recover some vacation soon. You were run pretty ragged. It took a few days for me, and I had only a fraction of your exertion.
Love!