That Perfect Decision May Not Be

I tend to get a little obsessed with making good decisions.

When I need to buy something, I research. I look for coupons. I try to find the perfect combination of best product, lowest price, and fastest shipping. I might spend hours trying to figure out which sunscreen to order from which site.

And heavens….if I have more than one item to buy? Especially if I need to buy clothes? That process usually involves spreadsheets.

You see, I fear regrets. I fear not doing the right thing. I fear making a “bad” decision…
The other day I ran into Old Navy to grab some running shorts. When I got home, I saw that everything at Gap was 30% off. Ack! I could have gotten better shorts for the same price! I failed as a shopper!

Yes, friends, this is how I live my life.

A couple of weeks ago I was reading Acts 21-28 in a Bible reading plan (which was much more pleasant than reading Chronicles….apparently I am not a Chronicles kind of girl). I kept being struck with people in Acts questioning the decisions made by Paul, the protagonist in those chapters.

In Acts 21:4, the believers in Tyre prophesied that Paul should not continue his journey to Jerusalem, but he continued on his way. Acts 21:12 describes the disciples in Caesarea begging Paul not to go. When Paul finally reached Jerusalem and was arrested, he was imprisoned for at least two years. He finally appealed his case to Caesar in Rome (Acts 25:11).

BUT here’s the kicker — In Acts 26:32 we learn that Paul could have been set free if he hadn’t appealed to Caesar. Agrippa and Festus were ready to set him free.

So did Paul make wrong decisions here?

I don’t know who witnessed the conversation Festus and Agrippa had about setting Paul free if he hadn’t appealed, but I like to think it was Paul himself. And I kinda wonder if there was a moment when he was like, “Ack! I could have been set free to continue my work!” (Pure speculation on my part, mind you.)

But of course Paul did go to Rome to stand trial, and while Wikipedia tells me that we aren’t exactly sure what happened afterwards (Was he martyred? Did he preach in Spain?), we do know from Acts 28:30-31 that he was able to preach the Gospel and minister to Christians in Rome for the next two years.

So anyway, all that to say…..maybe going to Jerusalem and appealing to Caesar weren’t the best possible decisions Paul could have made, at least by worldly standards. And yet somehow they seem to have been part of a Master Plan.

When I weigh this with my spreadsheets detailing which clothes I should buy, I think I could use a lot more trust and a lot less obsession in my life.

And when I do make a decision that I regret, dare I trust that my failing might turn out to be a beautiful and wonderful part of God’s plan?