Picture courtesy of Nicholson Photography. |
Less than 36 hours until David’s surgery, and I’m definitely starting to freak out a little bit. Our little household is trying to function as normally as possible, but the strain is almost palpable at times. Until the last few days, I’ve dealt with the upcoming surgery largely by ignoring it. Honestly, that’s worked well for me. I can’t change anything by worrying about the surgery, so when it crops up in my thoughts I say a prayer and try to focus on being mentally present with David and Ian. Yesterday and today, though, I’ve been facing the reality of what’s coming, sharing my hopes and fears (okay, mostly my fears) with those around me. As much as I don’t want to think about these fears, stating them out loud — fears of death, paralysis, etc. — lessens their hold on me.
To help me wrap my mind around the surgery a little bit more, I reached out to some friends who also have had young children go through surgery or illness. These friends offered some wonderful thoughts on their own experiences, and I would like to share them with you.
- Lori prepared for her baby’s surgery by talking with other parents with similar experiences. She also took before and after pictures that she gave to the doctor as a gift and a testament to the success of the surgery.
- Tara says to be prepared emotionally for the surgery to be delayed if the schedule is running slow that day, and take some toys to distract the little one while waiting for the surgery. A nurse practitioner friend also mentioned that surgeries are sometimes delayed a couple of hours.
- Being informed helps Mark when his son goes through procedures. He recommends talking to the doctors to find out exactly what they will be doing, how long it will take, and what will happen if any complications arise. He also recommends finding out what we’ll see when David is in recovery as far as ivs, monitors, etc. Mark says, “Tubes and wires and whatnot aren’t so bad when you know they’re going to be there!” Mark also says the surgeries ALWAYS take longer than they say, so don’t panic when that happens. (Tara confirms that one, too.)
- To stay calm during the surgery, my friend Mollie recommends saying a prayer and then getting lost in some escape fiction. Chris chose to snuggle his daughter’s toy elephant and not fight the tears.
- After the surgery, Lori focused on comforting her baby as much as possible with snuggling, holding, and singing. Tara found it difficult to hold her baby because she had an epidural and lots of tubes, but the nurses brought a big hospital bed so Tara could snuggle her and help her sleep.
- Tara also recommends being straightforward with questions and concerns, since the doctors and nurses are there to help!
- Packing recommendations from everybody: phone chargers, good toilet paper, David’s favorite toys, pillows, books/movies/CDs (anything to keep us occupied), snacks, toiletries, Bible, comfy jammies.
I know this doesn’t even remotely compare, but the few times I’ve had surgery, I always felt really compelled to make the nurses laugh. It took my mind off of what was happening, humanized the whole experience, and I took great pleasure in “giving back” to them. These poor nurses deal with sick, angry, upset, and sad people day in and day out. I always felt like if I could joke around with them, it would do us both some good. It took my mind off of being operated on, and I hope gave them something different and fun to deal with for a few moments.
I’ll be thinking about you guys over the next few days! If there’s anything I can do for you, please call!
Hi Christy…
Just got done reading about TSCS. I’m so glad little David did well. I’ll have to write about my surgery experience with Mateo soon. Prayers heading up right now for a continued successful recovery for the little guy and peace and calm for the rest of the family. Take care.
Jeff