Now that I am entering my seventh month of pregnancy, I’ve experienced the social awkwardness of pregnancy that so many moms mention. Fortunately, no strangers have touched my belly yet — that’s good, because I don’t want to start my criminal record now. I have had a lot of tummy-touching from friends, but more than that, I’ve had some rather unhelpful advice and remarks thrown my way.
So for your educational benefit, here are a few things NOT to say to a pregnant woman:
1. “I only gained ___ pounds when I was pregnant.”
2. “Is your back hurting you already? That’s not good.”
3. “You’re only ten weeks pregnant?” [points to my stomach] “Oh, so all that is yours.”
4. “You’re quitting work already? Why?”
5. “Oh, it only gets worse after this.”
Lest you think pregnant life has been all angst, I assure you I also have received some wonderful comments that made my day:
“I just have to say that you look absolutely beautiful.” – Random patron at a restaurant.
“Have you lost weight? I mean, well, you know.” – My fabulous cousin
It’s funny what people say, and it’s funny what affects me. I’m sure I have had my share of conversation faux pas — just tonight, a friend was worrying about going into labor at the hockey game, and I was very reassuring:
“Don’t worry, there will be an ambulance at the game.”
Ah ha ha ha! An ambulance at the game. Awesome! I had my share of crazy things said to me. Never tell a woman in her 8th month ‘you don’t even look pregnant.’ What did I look like then? Like I had been eating beach balls? Like I had an enormous tumor? What?! I feel for ya. Soon it’ll be over and Ian will be here. Then you’ll have people ask you when you are due! Sigh.
well, you have that gorgeous skin anyway, you probably have even more of a glow now that you are with child. 🙂
My “thanks alot” moment was when, around 4 months (when YOU know you’re pregnant, and that’s why the weight is hanging around, but no one ELSE can tell you’re pregnant), the personal trainer at the apt. complex said “Oh, yeah. Your waist is starting to look pretty thick.” Thanks. That’s nice.
the one that just want to take this opportunity to vent about their birth horror stories on how awful everything went for them, or how painful, etc are also great help… as if this is supposed to make you feel better or be less nervous about the possibilities of unlikely things… and there’s not much you can say that doesn’t leave awkwardness or inspire continued ranting.
Funny post. And I can so relate. I don’t understand what is wrong with people who think they can say crazy stuff like that to pregnant women and get away with it. And if a stranger rubs your belly, you rub their’s right back and see if they don’t back off!