Sometimes I get a little distracted when reading blogs. I play the comparison game.
“Wow, I will never have a layout that pretty/so many commenters/such cool sponsors.”
And in truth, I (usually) don’t want all of that. Successful bloggers work very, very hard, and I don’t have time for a job right now. I like being free to post whatever, whenever.
So then I think, why am I doing this? It’s like when I shared a business plan with an adviser a few years ago, and they were flabbergasted that I didn’t want to grow the business very much. Why do it at all if I’m not going anywhere?
Why do it, indeed. Sometimes I do think about stopping. Just being done with blogging. I’m not trying for a career or lucrative sponsorships. I’m not planning on returning to writing or editing professionally for years. So why not shut this space down?
There are reasons I could cite that sound lovely. The online friendships, yes. Hoping to glorify my creator, hopefully. But really?
Really, really?
This keeps my brain from turning to mush.
Motherhood has been tough on my brain. Not that being a mother makes me brain dead — I’m constantly having to cultivate quick reflexes and figure out the differences between excavators and backhoes. But sometimes I sit down to write and find that the intellectual part of my brain is covered in cobwebs and suffering from lack of use (and lack of sleep).
I’m not particularly good at hobbies. I tend to try to monetize them or give up on them so I can fold more laundry. But at the end of the day I need something that reminds me of the real, grown-up Christy who has skills and talents. Writing is throwing a rope to that shore and hauling myself back to land, even when I’m so tired I can’t see straight.
Never stop writing! Not as long as it gives you some fulfillment. I love reading your blog!