There’s not enough time in the day.
Each week I cannot find the time I need to cook healthy food, clean the house, play with the kids, hang out with friends, sleep, enjoy hobbies….
I can do some of those things, but not all. And yet I’m convinced I need all those activities for a healthy, balanced life.
So what do I throw out the window?
I tend rotate my areas of neglect. One week we may dine out too much or eat pasta almost every night. Another week I skip the housecleaning (thankfully made more feasible by a monthly cleaning service!). Sadly, some weeks playtime with my kids is vastly diminished (okay, a lot of weeks). And hobbies? What are those?
I hope that by focusing on a different area each week I can keep the germs/pile of laundry/loneliness at bay with nothing in too bad a shape.
Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t.
I don’t know how to get it all done. I look at other women who seem to live gentle, non-hurried lives with clean houses and wonder how they do it. Do they not need sleep? Is my brain flawed in a way that makes time management a disaster? Maybe I need to start drinking coffee.
I know in most cases I’m comparing my insides — which I know to be tired and stretched — to their shiny outsides. I don’t know the battles these other women are facing.
So today I’m sharing a few of my battles. Today I’m sharing that the house is clean, but only because our housecleaner came today. I’m hoping the kids can amuse themselves this afternoon because I feel buried in To Do Lists after a week of being sick. This morning my three-year-old followed me around whining for half and hour because he didn’t like breakfast. I have this grand plan to reorganize the playroom, but I don’t know if it will ever happen because by the end of each day I am completely drained. And I have a list of sweet friends whom I want to invite over for dinner, and I’ve managed to make dinner happen with exactly one of those people in the last year.
So that’s where I am today, friends. That’s what doesn’t get done for me. Care to share what’s going undone in your house this week?
The laundry isn’t folded, Molly has watched far too much PBS and Clubhouse Mickey this week already, and I’ve accomplished pretty much zero organization in the new place. You’re not alone, believe me.
Christy, I was just thinking this week that the goal of “balance” is an unfair burden. You may also find at some point that you’re trying to balance attention to your children, as I do with one at school and one home with me all the time. Because the at-home-still child has special medical needs, I’ve had to accept that I will never really achieve what the outside might see as balance, but hopefully, my older child will learn compassion, patience, giving, empathy, selflessness, and independence on the positive side of the coin…after his anger and selfishness and frustration wear off! Perhaps this is an example for how to approach the elusive goal of balance. Some things are just going to be more important than others (this may shift over time), and if those things are not being attended to, the everything needs to be reordered, even if it doesn’t all get done. Where is your marriage in there? I find that often gets left out, but recently, I’m thinking that centering that somehow could brighten the other areas. 🙂
Bonnie, you are so right that sometimes marriage is the thing that gets left out! My husband and I have a scheduled night each week where we check in and share how we are feeling, how our week has been, any concerns, etc. Of course we try to do those things other nights as well, but our “check-in” night is a special to stop doing chores and really think about what’s going on in our family. We went to marriage counseling years ago, and that’s a good habit leftover from that time period.
We’re also super lucky to have grandparents in town, so we get a couple of date nights each month.
So Christy, here I sit….playing on my ipad. House is dirty…kind of straight..but dirty. I am retired and have all the time I need. The house may get cleaned once a month. I cook a few good meals a week, but don’t worry about it if I don’t. I do some volunteer work…love to shop for the grandkids (don’t get to see them much)…stay semi-busy…sometimes. I look at you and admire your calmness, your happiness, your family, your life! I remember those stressful days….hang in there!
A friend of mine told her husband that each night he can have:
A. A clean house.
B. Happy kids.
C. A good dinner.
Pick two. Because try as she might, its impossible to have all three.
I’ll be damned – she’s right. Its maddening! (For us, tonight was dinner and happy kids – I’m ok with that)
Thank you, Christy, for saying it so well. A few years ago, I decided to lower my stress by making fewer lists. Today my lists are usually those obscure important items that may get completely forgotten and I have no expectation of completing that list any time soon. Thankfully the baby still takes good naps, so quiet time with God is my favorite priority during that time. Otherwise, I really try to live each moment asking God what He would have me do now. You know, the next right thing. If I live that way, then truly the most important things get accomplished. Some days that includes folding and many days it doesn’t