I’ve kept up with the housework better than usual this week. I’ve stuck with my schedule of each room, day-by-day. Written a blog post (two, I guess). Hung out with friends. Good stuff.
Little by little, though, I see the unraveling. A few extra toys on the floor. The pile of dishes on the counter. The laundry, STILL not folded three days after I washed it.
And then today. My grandmother died. We’ve been expecting it, and much of the family has been with her, keeping a vigil. The tension wound its way through our week, as we waited and knew.
So today I’m letting it all fall apart. I’ll let my boys see me cry. I’ll attempt to do some chores but know they can wait.
Today I’m thankful that nobody needs me to keep it together. Nobody needs me to run the universe. Nobody needs me to be a bastion of strength. That’s not my job.
My task is to be real. To be present. To not withdraw from the pain but let it be. And for today, that is enough.
I’m so sorry, Christy. We’ll be praying for you and your family.
Thank you, friend!
This is beautiful, Christy. And I get every bit of it (except for the cleaning schedule – that makes way too much sense for me :). I’m sorry about your grandmother. Sad I didn’t know. Sending you a knowing hug.
p.s. This was simple and meaningful, a combination that is not easy to achieve. Keep writing.