My Boys

21.5 months. Yesterday, David turned 21.5 months. That’s how old Ian was when David was born. And now I look at David and say to myself, “WHAT WAS I THINKING?”

At the time, I thought of Ian as such a “big boy.” But David seems so little at this age. I know some of that is birth order and much of that simply is my perception.

Photo by Paul Nicholson

Sweet Ian. I can’t imagine how hard it was for him to have a little intruder come into his life. Although that intruder’s arrival meant Mommy’s release from bed rest, so maybe it was a fair deal.

Ian definitely is my big boy now. He loves going to school and playing with his friends on the playground. I love seeing how parallell play has morphed into playing together for Ian and his friends, whether they are racing cars down slides or pretending to run a grocery store. Ian definitely is in a testing phase, finding out exactly where Mommy and Daddy can and will draw lines. Some weeks he tests with tantrums, and some weeks he tests with passive aggressive slowness.

I think of Ian as my “big boy” so often that I catch myself thinking of him as a 5- or 6-year-old, and I have to remind myself that he is 3. He doesn’t need snuggles as often these days, but he still needs physical affection with wrestling and silliness. I can see the rewards and trials he experiences as a big brother….he loves guiding David by the hand when I need extra help, but I think he struggles with the extra responsibility I expect from him.

Sometimes our lives get so hectic that I forget to notice how absolutely amazing Ian is. My son. He loves explaining things. “Mommy, did you know….?” is a phrase often heard. He loves doing things by himself and surprising us by coming downstairs fully dressed or putting away his toys. He can be very serious and focused and then switch quickly to being a basket of silly giggles.

David. He is my last little one, and I am trying to be a brave mommy and let him grow up. It’s so easy to think of him as a baby. He loves to be snuggled and held and rocked, but of course he also has an insatiable need to explore. His words are developing at a shocking (to me) rate. A few weeks ago I was amazed at how quickly he added words to his vocabulary. Now I am amazed at how he strings them together.

Mommy: “David, are you a smart boy?”

(Expecting the usual “uh-huh” answer….)

David: “No…. Daddy smart boy.”

What? When did these sentences appear? Some of his favorite words are football, baseball, bus, truck, Ian (“Inan”), school (“ool”), zebra, and hippo (first used today when he pointed to the hippo on his diaper and said, “My hippo right there.”).

David is a slide man. On the playground he will go for the highest slide he can find. He also attempts to climb ladders and bars like his brother, and a few times lately I’ve caught him contemplating sliding down the playground pole.

Watching my boys play together is such a beautiful miracle. (It’s also a miracle because I can get housework done.) I love watching them chase each other and play hockey and build lego houses. Life in the motherhood trenches can be tough sometimes, but when I can let go of worry and perfection and just watch, I am amazed at the gift I have been given in getting to be a mommy to these two boys.