I hate spending money.

Apparently I have some cheapskate gene in me somewhere that makes it inordinately hard to spend. Sometimes that’s a good thing. I like not having to battle credit card debt and impulse buys. But sometimes my cheap gene gets in the way when I really do need to spend a little bit.

Today, for instance.

I am trying to restock some of my most popular items for ghia. Thanks to my customers, I have some money to do this. I need to do this. I even have fun placing these orders. But oh, the money. Spending the money is so hard.

I just placed an order for organic tote bags so I can replenish my supply of ‘Shop Cool’ totes. And they want how much for shipping?!?!? It was almost literally painful to hit that checkout button.

Next I need to place an order with one of my fair trade providers for purses and jewelry. Usually I like placing orders with this company, but today my cheap gene is in full force and I am very worried about spending this money in the best way possible. Not just the BEST way, but the PERFECT way. Alas, I am human, and perfection doesn’t really happen for me.

So, I am trying to decide which products to order. In general, I have fabulous ordering mojo, and I immediately sell out of the products which were my first instinct to order. (Products where I think, “Hmm, maybe I should order that,” don’t sell nearly as quickly.) Today, though, my cheap and perfection genes are getting in the way, and I can’t hear my mojo. It’s been this way for a few days, so I’m not sure waiting any longer will help.

Well, now I have myself all depressed talking about this. Maybe I’ll go through the catalog and see which products make me happy, and pick them that way.

Thanks for listening, gang.